“I want to homeschool, but I need to work.”

Is it really true that working parents cannot homeschool? It can be quite a challenge, but many families manage to do it successfully. Many working-and-homeschooling families challenge this assumption every single day.  How?

Consider all opportunities for flexibility in your work

The more flexibility you have, the more smoothly you will be able to manage the demands of homeschooling. Some work situations require regular hours but may be adaptable to working all or part of the time from home. Others allow for significant flexibility in when, where, and even how much work is done.

Flexibility may not be something your employer routinely offers, but a thoughtful proposal might change the status quo. If your current work is inflexible, consider a job change. If change is not possible, don’t despair! There are many ways to make working-and-homeschooling work.

In families with two working parents, it may be possible for parents to adjust their working hours so that one parent is home whenever the other is working. You might divide the responsibility for homeschooling equally, or one parent might take primary responsibility for education while the other takes more responsibility in other areas.

Single parents who work can still homeschool. If your work is done entirely at home, and if there is a good fit between your child’s ability to be independent on one hand and the needs of your job on the other, you may be able to multitask throughout the day. Whether or not this is successful will depend largely on your temperament and that of your child.

If the needs of your job and the needs of your child are too much to manage at once, or if your job takes place away from home and you cannot bring your child along, you might piece together a scenario that includes time for learning with a parent or another adult.

Be flexible with your expectations about how you will homeschool.

Homeschooling can happen anytime, anywhere. There is no rule that says homeschooling must take place during school hours or at a desk. Focused, supported learning activities can happen before parents head off to work in the morning, after they return in the evening, or on the weekends.One of the most wonderful benefits of homeschooling is that students can learn the same things in less time than they would in public school. Homeschooling, especially if it is done one-on-one or with siblings who are at the same or a similar learning level, can be very efficient. If you plan to devote a portion of the day to helping each of your children with bookwork, how much time would you need? What time of day is your child the most focused and receptive to learning? What kind of learner is your child, and how can you help make learning most efficient for him or her?

For some homeschooling families, a rigorous, detailed curriculum is the best choice. Others have the time and drive to piece together a carefully selected, eclectic combination of materials. When your time and attention are already stretched, you might find it easiest to use a comprehensive all-in-one program, such as Oak Meadow’s full curriculum package. Or you might find that a very relaxed approach to learning allows your children to happily absorb the basics and then pursue their passions. Don’t hesitate to shift gears if you or your child are stressed or unhappy with your current approach. When you find something that works, celebrate and stick with it!

Assess your child’s capacity for independence and make intentional use of it

How old is your child (or children)? How much direct attention, supervision, and care does he or she need? When is your child happiest to accept guidance from others, and when will only a parent do?
Young children will need a direct caregiver all or most of the time. Many caregivers are open to supporting this age group in gentle learning activities involving nature, art, handwork, storytelling, and play-based exploration. You may need to make suggestions or provide materials. With a thoughtful plan, your care provider can become a homeschooling ally.

Preteens may be able to tolerate being left to themselves for periods of time while you are working at home, but there will be limits to their independence. They may need or want to engage periodically even if you are nearby. With your child’s input, develop ways to connect and reconnect with each other as needed while you work.

Older children and teens may be able to handle all or some of their homeschooling work on their own. Some subjects or activities might require more regular support than others. You might work in short bursts with scheduled breaks so that your child knows when to wait and when he or she can have your attention again.

If you have a wide range of ages in your family, perhaps an older child could be engaged to help a younger child or children while you are working at home. Carefully plan ahead to set them up with suitable assignments or activities. When you are not working, your attention can shift to the younger children while the older ones focus on their own learning.

Remember why

Families who choose homeschooling invariably have compelling reasons that make it worthwhile. Why are you working and homeschooling? What would be different if you made a different choice? Would those differences be acceptable to you? Identify the motivating factors in your situation and remind yourself of them whenever you need a boost.

Working while homeschooling can be a formidable challenge, even with children who are older and fairly independent. For many parents who do both, the combination is not really ideal. But when other options are unacceptable or even more challenging, it can be worthwhile to do what is necessary to make it work. If you choose working-and-homeschooling, you are in good company.

The question of socialization comes up often in conversations about homeschooling. Parents who are new to homeschooling or considering it as a future option may recognize that school provides more than just academics. They may worry about how they will recreate those other learning opportunities in their home. Well-meaning neighbors and family members may ask, “But what about socialization?” Well, what about it?

What is socialization, anyway? 

Societies have an interest in making sure the younger generation has the social skills and expectations needed to fit in with and be productive members of the group. The Oxford Learners Dictionary defines socialization as the process by which somebody, especially a child, learns to behave in a way that is acceptable in their society. Many people expect schools to do the job of seeing children through this process of becoming acceptably behaved citizens who understand the norms of their society and how to fit in without being a burden to the community. So they might wonder how homeschoolers will gain these skills outside of school.

Is this something I need to worry about? 

Not at all. If you and your children are involved in activities with a range of other people, your children will have many opportunities for healthy social development. In fact, some people assert that the kinds of social learning situations that occur in the classroom and on the playground impart a very different skill set than what children will actually need as adults. Typical schools group children by age and developmental ability, resulting in large groups of children who all have similar skills—and shared deficiencies.

In contrast, homeschoolers tend to interact with more diverse groups and individuals. So they are able to gain new skills from people who are much more socially adept and affirm those skills by mentoring those who are younger or less experienced. The more socially experienced members of the group provide a model for the others to learn from. This is a valuable form of socialization that is not usually part of social learning in a group of same-age children.

How can I meet my child’s needs for socialization? How do others families do this? 

Socialization and community building can happen in any situation you can think of where your children are interacting with other people. Music lessons, art classes, sports teams, church groups, scouting, 4-H, wilderness groups, summer camps, mission work, community activism, and all sorts of other activities provide the opportunity for homeschoolers to interact with others and develop interpersonal skills. If your child needs more social opportunities, they’ll let you know. You might seek out a homeschool group in your area or start one if one doesn’t already exist. There may be volunteer opportunities at a local nursing home or daycare center where your child can learn from elders and/or mentor younger children. If you live in a very isolated area, you might consider using the Internet or a pen-pal arrangement as a way for your child to connect with others socially through the written word.

What do I say to family/friends who press the issue? 

Well-meaning family and friends may react with concern. Sometimes it can be helpful to dig a bit deeper to uncover their fears and respond from there. What exactly are they worried about? What social skills do they think will be missing from your child’s experience? Perhaps a simple explanation of how you will fill that gap is all they need to hear.

When you choose to homeschool, you may appear to be removing your child from the community’s collective method of raising its children. People may wonder if this means your family will now become isolated. They may assume that your child will be at home all day and will not have enough of a chance to develop and practice social skills. They may know adults who are unable to function in a socially appropriate way, and although there is no reason to connect this outcome with homeschooling, they may wonder if there could be a connection.

They may be concerned about homeschooling simply because they do not have any experience (yet!) with healthy, well-adjusted, well-socialized homeschoolers. It’s likely that they were indoctrinated with the belief that schools are the only place where children can learn what they need to know to succeed socially. Homeschoolers typically prove that wrong, but it may take some time for the people in your life to see that evidence unfold. It may help to remember that these questions are generally posed out of love and concern for your child’s well-being. Be patient with the process and assure them that with your attentive care, your children are doing fine.

How do I make sure my children get what they need? 

Decide for yourself what social and behavioral skills you feel are essential for your child to learn. Consider your child’s developmental level as you set your expectations. Stay tuned in to your child and his or her needs, and follow your inner compass in figuring out how best to meet those needs. Make connections with others in your community and include your children in those interactions. Model socially appropriate behavior in different situations and support your children as they practice interacting with various people.

Many homeschoolers find that socialization comes easily and naturally as part of their everyday interactions with others. So the next time a well-meaning friend asks, “But what about socialization?” just smile and invite them to become part of your child’s ever-expanding social network.

Sometimes the hardest part of getting started with homeschooling is believing that you can do it. I’m here to tell you that yes, you can homeschool!

There are many reasons that lead families to consider homeschooling. Often it comes up when a child’s school is not a good match for their needs. Sometimes it’s driven by a parent’s desire to guide their child’s learning in the context of their own values. Sometimes children need a more flexible schedule in order to pursue athletic or artistic training, and sometimes parents simply can’t imagine missing out on the excitement of educational discovery. The decision to homeschool is a big one, and it is normal to have feelings of uncertainty before taking such a big leap. Here are a few things to keep in mind to help you approach your decision to homeschool with confidence and joy.

Expertise: 

Always remember that you are the #1 expert on your child. This means you have insights that classroom teachers do not have. You know your child’s learning style and can give him or her more targeted attention and personal support than even the best classroom teacher ever could, even if you have other responsibilities or children at home. Your intuition and your knowledge of your child are two of your most powerful assets as a homeschooling parent. None of us have all of the answers up front, but you can trust your heart to be a reliable tool for figuring it out as you go.

Teaching: 

You do not have to be an experienced teacher to be able to homeschool your child! Parents with a wide range of educational levels and experiences can successfully homeschool. One of the joys of homeschooling is learning new things alongside your child. If you find the word “teacher” feels uncomfortable, try thinking of yourself as your child’s educational facilitator. Additionally, there are many ways to support your child’s learning experience without doing it all yourself. Local enrichment classes, homeschool co-ops, library programs, wilderness days, volunteer positions, tutoring, hobby clubs, one-on-one mentoring…the possibilities are endless. Be creative in your approach, and trust in your ability to coordinate the pieces that make up the whole.

Community: 

A new adventure can feel easier when others who have gone before can share what they have learned. There are successful homeschoolers all over the country and all over the world.  It really helps to know you’re not alone in this experience. If you’re lucky, there’s a homeschool community already going strong in your area. If not, it might seem at first that there are no local homeschoolers to be found. But don’t let that stop you from continuing to look! Ask at the public library, local co-ops, learning centers (history, environmental, museums, whatever you have nearby). Put up posters; start a playgroup or learning group. You might need to stretch your definition of “local.” You might even choose to seek community online.

Flexibility: 

Homeschooling can be as flexible or as structured as you need or want it to be. Some homeschooling parents work part-time or full-time and focus on supporting their child’s learning when they’re not at work. Others craft a patchwork schedule that allows them to be present as their children learn. Some engage the help of caregivers as part of their family’s homeschooling team.

Some families have demanding travel or training schedules, so they fit homeschooling in around those activities. Other families function best with a non-negotiable daily/weekly/monthly routine at home. All families are unique in their needs and solutions. There are a no “right” answers. It’s up to you to find and follow the rhythm that works for your family.

Legal Considerations: 

In the U.S., each state has a different take on what homeschoolers must do to stay in compliance with education laws. These requirements may seem overwhelming, but families have succeeded in homeschooling in every state and in numerous other countries. Start by contacting the Superintendent of Schools in your town or the Department of Education in your state or locality to find out what is expected. Remember that some of the people you speak with may not have experience with homeschooling and might have misconceptions about the state’s role in home learning, so be patient and persistent.

Getting Started: 

Homeschooling is a big adventure, and most of us have no previous experience with anything like it. If you’re not sure where to start or how to proceed, there are many resources and curriculum packages available to take the guesswork out of it. Oak Meadow curriculum is designed to make it easy for parents and students to make sure they are not missing anything along the way. If you have questions, Oak Meadow’s educational counselors are happy to help.

Often when I tell people that my children are homeschooled, they say something like, “I could never homeschool my children.” Perhaps they don’t need or want to homeschool, and that’s just fine. It’s not right for every family. But if you want to homeschool, you can!